To Wit: An E-zine On How To Be a Wit
05/15/2008

This is an E-zine from Thomas Christopher on how to be witty.

WITTY SELF-EXPRESSION PRODUCTS

I'm offering T-shirts and other self-expression products designed using the techniques discussed here. I've set up an online "store" at wittyselfexpression.com. I expect to use many of the designs as examples in this e-zine.

Say something about something

The goal of wit is to say or write something that people will want to repeat. If you want people to repeat your words, you must say something worth repeating about a topic that people want to comment on themselves. People won't remember uninteresting words, and if the words deal with something arcane, people will have little opportunity to repeat them.

The first problem is to find topics to speak memorably about. For aphorisms and epigrams—the slogans for T-shirts, bumper stickers, and mugs—you can choose your own topic. For advertising copy, headlines, titles and subtitles, verbal sparkle for prose, or a "phrase that pays" in a speech, the overall topic is given.

Say something about people.

People are most interested in other people. The theory behind gossip is that people are important. (That is also the theory behind the assassination.) The currently famous people are always available as topics, be they politicians or movie stars.

Use topics from books of quotations as subjects for aphorisms and epigrams.

We are divided beings: male and female, individuals and social beings, wobbling between clarity and confusion. We are always acting on ideas that are based on unnoticed assumptions. We remain unaware that our perceptions are not Reality, but just what our nervous systems latched onto. Human foolishness is unbounded. The Human Condition is an endless source of topics, and you can find those topics listed in a book of quotations.

The whole point of an aphorism or an epigram is to be quoted. People will not be inspired to quote it unless it says what they want to say about the topic they are addressing. Books of quotations contain those topics that people most likely want to say something about. Therefore, to compose sayings that people will want to repeat, pick a topic from a book of quotations.

Life:

Life is a manuscript in search of a good editor.

Honesty:

Always be scrupulously honest in small matters.

Service:

"We cannot give the world all that it needs, but the world need all that we can give."

Truth:

NIHILISM
There is no Truth. And even so,
If there were, we couldn’t know.
And if there were, and if we could,
It wouldn’t do us any good.

PRAGAMATISM
Some things are false;
Some things, true.
Some things don’t work;
Some things do.

For humor, pick a topic that irritates you.

Humor is built on hostility. To find good topics, rant. Record your rants, or take notes on what you find yourself ranting about. Look through these topics for those that are not too idiosyncratic. Look for irritations that you share with other people. Everyday frustrations are good—er, good topics that is.

If the overall topic is given, explore it to find a precise topic for wit.

If you are given a topic, you may get stuck. You may be able to come up with a witty line on a the topic. You may not. You greatly increase your odds by exploring the topic. Think of subtopics. List associations you have for the topic and subtopics. Gather information. Look especially for the specific and concrete. Up to a point, the more things you have to search among, the better your odds of finding a really good witticism. (Beyond that point, you're overwhelming yourself with possibilities and postponing work.)

Pick a good topic and you are well on your way to being witty. If you have a choice, you can talk about people or the human condition. For humor, talk about irritations. If you are given the topic, hunt for an aspect you can be witty about.

Visit our web site at www.toolsofwit.com
To unsubscribe, send an e-mail request to tc-a@toolsofwit.com with the subject line: Unsubscribe.